Bedroom Talk: A Prayer Answered

What is the difference between a man who was raised by his mother and father whose upbringing is similar to a man who was raised by only his mother?" Is what I asked my husband… After his response, I invited God into our situation and asked him to help me explain the answer to my husband; God answered me!

Clarity and understanding can always be obtained through a simple request from God. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you". For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

The Bedroom Talk

Is it just me, or does long conversations spark after a night of makeup-intimacy with your spouse? Well, this conversation started out by my husband calling me a 'Big Baby' and how after 18 years he finally figured me out... He proceeded to say, "you are a grown woman with an inner child', and the child within you seeks love and Affection, similar to what a father would express toward his daughter". He then added, as long as I fulfill my responsibilities as a man and a husband, then, in return, my needs will be met. In my mind, I was thinking, yes, that answer is partially true; I do want love and affection, but I value it even more when it is done as God permits us to love. Meaning, when a man displays the love of God towards his wife, the love she receives is more genuine; it’s unconditional, and not a love that is transactional: 'you give I give', and vice-versa. In response to his comment above, I gave him 2 scenario's and ended it off with a question.

'The first scenario was about a mother and a father who bore a son, and throughout his childhood and his adult years, they taught him the love of God, to display love for others, and how to live a righteous life before God in this world of sin. He grew to be a successful man in all that was taught to him by his mother and father. Then went on to teach his son his ways. The second scenario was the same, except the little boy was raised by only his mother. She instilled in him: the love of God, the importance of loving others, and how to navigate life in an upright manner. After explaining both scenarios, I asked, what is the difference between the two men? He responded, "the second one is me. I was raised by my mother and didn't have my father in my life. I'm teaching myself things my father should have taught me, like how to be a man, and how to love. Now, I'm teaching my son, but I'm lacking in a lot; I know what it is, but it is hard for me to explain it."

Before I responded, I asked God to help me explain the point from the spirit, and not from my flesh because I felt like my advice started to become self-serving. For example, me explaining that love is sacrifice, felt like it was coming from a good place, however, I was quickly convicted in my spirit. I was expressing that love was sacrifice because 'deep down' I wanted to receive sacrificial love in return. I expected my husband to fulfill a missing void through love acquired from him. But, I have come to the realization that the love I was looking for could only be found through my relationship with God. Shortly after, my mind started to wonder, and I was trying to figure out what to say next, then it stopped and words started to flow out of my mouth. The first words were, "you were never lacking anything, it was always there within you'; All situations are different, YHWH (God) may not give everyone a physical father to bring them up in the world, but, you will always have a spiritual father: He is opening his arms to you and want you to receive Him. He wants you to go to Him, so He can give you what you feel is lacking"…

If we are always searching to fill a missing void through the world, we will always lack something internally. Much like the encounter Yeshuah (Jesus) had with the Samaritan woman, and I quote, "The water you drink will leave you in thirst, but the water I give will satisfy you always: I give living water." Metaphorically speaking, what we are taught by our mother and father is the physical water; it will last temporarily, only for this lifetime. But what we are taught from Yeshuah through the Holy Spirit, is the spiritual water; words that will last forever. He is the living water, and eternal life is obtained through Him.